It’s never an easy process, is it? We’re such creatures of habit as we go about our daily routines that the simplest derailment of our day can send us over the edge. The fear of the unknown often becomes boundaries and walls that we use to barricade ourselves in our comfortable nests. And yet, change is entirely necessary for us to evolve. There’s a beautiful quote to echo that sentiment:
“What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”
Sometimes we simply have to take that leap of faith and trust that everything will be okay. Because almost always, change is for the better. While it might not always seem like it at first, in my experience, even bad changes have brought about incredible results. And it’s amazing how one change influences another.
At the beginning of March I began to move the non-essentials from my home in anticipation of its list date. It went on the market in the middle of the month and it sold a week later. Which, was fantastic in the fact that I no longer had to go about my day like a nomad with all my moveable earthly belongings upon my back, but terrifying in the fact that houses in our price range are going quicker than they’re appearing. Yet I have faith that we’ll find something and I find peace in knowing that this next home is going to be our “forever” home. So I suppose I can live in a cookie-cutter split-level for a few years. If I have to. . .
Now, as I say goodbye to my little home and to the singledom lifestyle of my twenties, a door is opening where a dazzling light shines upon an exciting (and terrifying, let’s be honest, it’s been nearly ten years since I’ve lived with anyone. There’s going to be an adjustment period!) new life with my love and the future partnership that awaits. But as the finishing projects were completed, as each tote of my belongings was moved out, as each day I did a walk-through to clean and prepare for any showings that might occur, a different feeling emerged. One that had me evaluating every fragment of my life, down to the smallest detail, including this little space.
For the past three months, I’ve been wanting to do a blog revamp, only, I wasn’t quite sure what it was that I wanted to keep, change, or discard. I started my attempt at change small by simply changing the appearance. I spent hours pouring over the various themes, activating and customizing many of them. (If you’ve spent any time here in the last few months and noticed weird things happening, I sincerely apologize.) But none of them felt right. None of them did what I wanted. What did I want you ask? At the time, I wasn’t quite sure myself.
If you’re a frequent reader (and thank you if you are!) you may have noticed a lack of my presence and postings this past month. At first, it was simply because I was too busy with everything else that was happening in my life. Wrapping up home projects, fitting in all the appointments the new year brings, taxes, packing, meeting my daily word count and somehow finding the time to scratch out a few blog posts in January and February had me feeling like Wonder Woman. But then came March, or, the month it all went to hell. After having the flu and a sinus infection, I fell off the vegan bandwagon (it was dairy ONLY, I swear!) and had a massive gallbladder attack that lasted a week (ps: I hate you so much dairy) and left me feeling like I had been through an old-timey washing machine. As if that wasn’t bad enough, while my immune system was doing battle in other places of my body, six individual cold sores appeared on my face. Such perfect timing as I was wrapping up my appointments and all that was left was to have my passport photo taken and to apply. (Still need to do that!) Needless to say, I was feeling pretty stressed by all that was happening. I needed to step back and take care of Numero Uno. That required several cut-backs, including writing posts to share with all of you.
But what I noticed, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into a month, was that I didn’t miss it. Not the way I should. Not the way I have in the past. And as I pondered on the why I began to realize that I wasn’t missing writing here on this platform because I wasn’t enjoying what I was writing. So when had it become more of a chore than a pleasure?
I began to look back at the last three years of posts. And what I realized was that I had strayed far from my path. When I created this site, it was my intention to create a portfolio of stories. It was to be a place to share my passion for writing and my inspiration for that writing from my family history. But somewhere down the road less traveled, I took a detour on an interstate. My writing and genealogy posts were few and far between things with catchy titles or passing trends written to garnish attention. I found myself disgusted with the direction I was going and so I promptly pulled over. And promptly caused several accidents. My bad.
I began to reevaluate each and every post and found myself outright deleting many before I chose to disable my site for further maintenance. Every post was changed from “published” to “pending” to “private” as I weeded through years worth of posts that did not align with my values or goals for this space. At one point, I nearly canned the whole thing. But among all the thistles and weeds, a few hearty buds appeared. And suddenly, I could feel that passion again.
So what can you expect to find here?
Well, to put it bluntly, not a lot:
– including –
links to inspiration
links to Goodreads
That about sums it up in a nutshell. Gone is all the filler. But what remains is all the stronger for it. I’m so excited to begin this new chapter of blogging. I hope you are too! Welcome aboard.